


YOUTH (Peter Parker)

by octavicblake



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-11 10:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7044682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octavicblake/pseuds/octavicblake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>❝I just wish everyone could... you know, be a hero. Help people.❞<br/>❝If all people were like you, Peter, you wouldn't be a superhero anymore.❞ </p><p>[tom holland's peter parker]<br/>[inspired by ca:cw]</p><p>©octavicblake<br/>trigger warning: mental illness</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Voices

**Note: first off, Maggie does not have any superpowers. I am also not trying to romanticize mental illnesses. What Maggie has is OCD, mixed in with a few other things. I'm sorry if someone thinks I portray it wrong. I myself have OCD and am simply portraying it from my own experiences. Thank you and I hope you like it xx**

_Fresh paint. Why did the room smell like fresh paint? It was the middle of January. Who painted their classroom in the middle of January?_ Maggie stood awkwardly in the foyer of the door, staring down at her paint-specked Converse. "You must be our new student! Come in, dear, no need to be afraid." The teacher laughed, but Maggie didn't think it was funny.

She started to walk, slowly but not too slowly, confidently but not too confidently, to shake the older woman's hand. They're staring at me. They're all staring. _They're noticing how funny I walk. They're noticing my beat-up shoes. Do they think I'm poor? I'm not poor. Please, don't think I'm poor._

After what seemed like miles of excruciating walking, she finally reached the teacher's desk, and held out her hand for the woman to shake. The teacher- a plaque on her desk said her name was Mrs. Adams- grabbed Maggie's hand, gripping it tightly, shaking it, not letting go. _I could jerk my hand away. I could be rude. I could grab the chalk from the chalkboard and throw it in her face, throw it on the ground. Then what would they think of me?_

"Your name is Magnolia, is it?" Mrs. Adams asked sweetly, taking her hand away. Maggie could have sworn the whole class laughed at her stupid name. _No one had laughed._ She felt her cheeks turn a bright red, a blush spreading across her face. "Please, it's Maggie. No one calls me Magnolia." She replied, her voice coming out in a squeak. The teacher nodded, as if she understood. She didn't. "Well, Maggie, you can go sit over there." The woman emphasized the Maggie bit, showing she had listened to Maggie beforehand.

She followed the teacher's pointing finger, over to a desk in the corner. It was positioned next to a boy, a skinny one, with short brown hair and a small smile on his face. Maggie made her way to her new desk, and to her new neighbor. _Don'tlookathimdontlookathimdontlookathim_. Maggie looked at him. He met her gaze with warm brown eyes, a welcoming yet awkward smile plastered on his face. She smiled back softly.

Maggie waited for the voices to come, to swallow up her brain, drown her normal thoughts in worry. But no voices came. The boy held out his hand awkwardly. Everything about this boy was a bit awkward. Maggie took it gently, cautiously, as the boy introduced himself. "I'm Peter."


	2. New Beginnings

Maggie took his hand daintily, shaking it. "Maggie." She replied, and Peter flashed a grin at her. "You've got a strong grip." He noted, and Maggie immediately pulled her hand away, alarmed. Did he think she was weird for having a good handshake? Was that not a normal thing for people to have accumulated by this age?

  Peter must have noticed her uneasiness, because his smile faded. "I didn't mean it in a bad way, it's kind of cool-" He began nervously, but stopped when Mrs. Adams, their teacher, cleared her throat loudly. Maggie looked away from the boy, her face flushing. All this attention to her already and she hadn't even been here five minutes. 

  _You're so stupid, Magnolia. Why did you think anyone would be interested in meeting you? You're weird, and ugly, and soon he'll find out about the voices. Just like everyone does._

  Maggie knew the voices were going to return. Knew her inner monologue was going to continue without hesitation, making her feel worse and worse as the minutes ticked by. She knew this _Peter_ boy wasn't special. The voices had definitely ceased around him, but not for long. 

As the day went on, Maggie discovered she had every single class with Peter. Luckily for Maggie, they didn't sit next to each other in the rest of their shared classes. Trudging into biology, her final period of the day, she hoisted her backpack up on her shoulders and slumped down in a seat, rubbing her temples. She rested her head on the cool surface of the desk and was determined to stay that way for the rest of the class, until she felt a presence beside her.

Looking up, she saw two people who were startlingly identical to each other, occupying the two empty seats alongside her. The boy and girl, who must've been twins, were looking at her curiously, similar looks upon their faces. When they saw her looking at them, the boy flashed a pearly white smile, while the girl scooted a little closer to Maggie.

 _These twins are eccentric. Don't be friends with them_.

But Maggie did something that shocked both her and the voice in her head. She mustered up her courage, and ignored the voice in her head. "Hello." She spoke out, her voice hoarse from barely talking all day. "Hi!" They replied in unison, and then glared at each other. "We're twins," They said in unison again, and the boy sighed heavily while the girl shook her head.

They both had bright blue eyes and dark jet-black hair, the same goofy smile plastered on their shared face. The girl, her hair tied back in a wisp of a braid, stretched out her hand eagerly, a shy look suddenly passing over her face. _What was it with all these people at this school wanting to shake hands? What is this, the 40's?_ Maggie shook the thoughts away quickly, scrunching up her face and putting up a wall between her and the nastiness inside her head. She shook hands for the second and third time that day, both with the girl, who introduced herself as Rachel, and the boy, who said his name was Alex.

 _I made friends. And you didn't stop me from doing it. Suck it._ This time, the thoughts in Maggie's head were her own.

Maggie spent the first ten minutes of class doubling over with laughter and sharing random facts with her newfound friends. If any of the kids from her old school in Boston came into the classroom at any given moment, they wouldn't have recognized the happy, smiling Maggie. Their biology teacher told the class to settle down, and as Maggie pulled out her crisp new notebook, she heard nine words that made the thoughts return without hesitation.

"Ah, Mr. Parker. You've finally decided to join us." _He's back. That boy, the one you have every class with, he's back, Maggie, but you can't talk to him. He's a stalker. Why else would he share all your classes? Don't talk to him. He'll never like you. He's too smart for that._

Maggie glanced up cautiously. There he was- the boy from first period. The first person at this school who'd introduced themselves to Maggie, who'd been kind and nice and polite but- _but her thoughts didn't approve of him, so neither could she_.

"Just take a seat next to uhm- that young lady there." The teacher told Peter, not knowing Maggie's name and simply gesturing towards her. "You have _got_ to be kidding me." Maggie grumbled under her breath, glaring down at her notebook. Rachel whisper-asked if she was okay, but Maggie waved her off, saying she was fine.

 _You're far from fine. You're a liar, Magnolia Hamilton_.

Peter looked awkwardly at Maggie, sitting down in an apprehensive manner and fumbling for his science notebook. "Hi again." He tried to say, but Maggie looked the other way, to Alex and Rachel. Rachel looked at her new friend with concern, while Alex shot Peter a nasty look. The look was slight, quick, and most people wouldn't have caught it. But Peter wasn't "most people", and he saw the look, despite wishing he hadn't.

Maggie wondered why the voices didn't approve of Peter Parker. Peter wondered why this new girl didn't want anything to do with him. Without meaning to, both sighed at the exact same moment, shot startled glances at each other, and then looked away, cursing at themselves internally.

It was going to be a long year. 


	3. Decisions

"I'll see you guys later." Maggie smiled gently at her new friends as she picked up her book-bag. Alex opened his mouth to respond, but his words were lost by the last bell ringing. "What?" She asked loudly, but Alex shook his head, telling her to forget about it. Rachel glanced at her twin questioningly, but no further inquiries were made.

Pushing past the crowd of students, she huffed and shoved into someone. It was a blonde girl, who stared at her rudely, almost as if she were saying 'How dare you touch me'. "I-I'm sorry." Maggie said, and the girl shot her a nasty look, corners of her unnaturally pink lips upturned.

"Whatever." The girl responded, and she sauntered- literally sauntered- off like she was a model and the school hallway was her runway. Maggie watched as the rude girl met up with another blonde, who gave her friend a bright smile. "Hey Mary Jane, we still on for the mall after we study?" Maggie heard the girl's friend ask, and Mary Jane simply nodded, gently pressing her friend onwards.

Seriously Magnolia, you can't even say you're sorry properly? I'll bet that girl was so popular, and you just ruined your chances of ever becoming anything but a lowly geek who hears her own thoughts.

The horde of high school students had lessened, making it easier for her to get through the corridor. Maggie noticed Peter right away, closing his locker and looking down the hallway. Maggie grimaced, afraid he was going to notice her, but Peter instead looked right past her, as if she weren't even there. Peter's eyes followed someone, over her shoulder, and Maggie glanced behind her. He was staring at Mary Jane, who was still in the hallway, clearly aware someone was watching her.

Maggie bit her lower lip, walking fast, wanting to get out of there. Told you he wouldn't like you. Of course he would like that beautiful, blonde girl, she's tall and skinny and doesn't have anything wrong with her. She's perfect, you're not. He only took pity on you, that's why he was being so nice.

The thoughts didn't stop until she got to her apartment building. Taking her key from her pocket, Maggie tucked her hair behind her ear, thinking about how she should cut it soon. Even if you cut it, you'll never look like Mary Jane.

Her legs ached from clambering up all those stairs, the elevator in her new building didn't even work. Nothing like this would've ever happened in Boston. She stopped, resting for a second, rubbing her forehead. Now her head and legs ached. She couldn't wait to plop down on her sofa at home and be by herself until her parents got home.

She reoriented herself but when she did, the key fell from her hand, and Maggie cursed at herself for being so clumsy. She reached down to grab the key but found another hand reaching for it, and she looked up, surprised, not realizing someone else had been on the apartment floor with her. "Sor-" Both said in unison, and Maggie yelped when she realized who it was.

"Peter?!" She said, and Peter startled, stepping back, Maggie's key in his hand. "Frick- you live in this building?" Peter exclaimed, and Maggie frowned, reaching forward and grabbing the key from his hand. He almost didn't let go, causing Maggie to pry his hand open.

"Yes. Why is that a big deal?" Maggie muttered, her palms growing sweaty and she grasped the key tighter. "I-it's not." He responded, and Maggie nodded. Yes, it is a big deal, stop lying. Now you'll never be able to get away from him.

Peter readjusted his earbud, and Maggie took a deep breath. Don't you freaking dare. Don't. You. Dare. Talk. To. Him. Maggie gestured to his earbuds. "Whatareyoulisteningto," She blurted, and Peter gave her a confused look.

"What are you listening to?" She repeated, slower this time. Peter looked surprised, but turned on his phone, showing her the screen. Left Hand Free by alt-J. Maggie's eyes opened wide.

Maggie Jean Hamilton, what did I say about talking to him?

You're not my mother. I can speak to him if I want to.

"I love that song!" Maggie told him, re-tucking her hair behind her ear. Peter's face lit up and he beamed at her. Peter didn't know why she had a sudden change of heart, but silently thanked his good taste in music. He waved his hand towards the door that must have been the door to his apartment.

"Do you want to come in? I can help you with the biology homework- uh, if you need help, that is." Peter suggested, a slight blush appearing across his cheeks. Maggie glanced at her door, and then tried to hear what her thoughts were saying. But her thoughts weren't saying anything for the first time since she'd met Peter.

She supposed this was her decision to make. Tucking the key into her pocket, she made one of the first decisions she'd made on her own in a very long time.

"Sure. That sounds great."


	4. Chapter 4

_Why did you say yes? Everything will just be awkward. Also, if you're wondering why he invited you in, it's because he sees you as a charity case. Someone who needs to be taken in and pitied. Don't think too much of it. You aren't as special as you think._

Maggie shook the thoughts from her head as she watched Peter take out a key of his own and unlock the door. He noticed her shaking her head ever so slightly and asked her if she was okay. Maggie lied for what must've been the millionth time that day and blamed it on a minor headache.

"I'm sure my aunt's got Advil, if you need any." Peter suggested as he opened the door, the guilt in Maggie rising every minute she spent with him. She politely declined as they stepped in the foyer, Peter shutting the door behind them.

"Hey, May." He greeted who must've been his aforementioned aunt, and Maggie heard a woman's voice ask him how school was today. She saw Peter shrug, set down his backpack on a table and walk into the living room, talking about how school was "okay", with a quick, shy glance at Maggie. "Hey, there's this crazy car parked outside-"

Peter stopped abruptly, staring, and Maggie hurried after him, wondering what had made the usually talkative boy halt in his tracks. When she saw what had caused it, it was enough for her to stop dead, her mouth dropping open, mirroring Peter's.

The woman who could've only been Peter's Aunt May shot Peter a look when she noticed Maggie, and then another when she gestured her head towards the one and only Tony Stark, sitting in Peter's living room with his aunt. "Mr. Parker, a pleasure." The man who called himself Iron Man stretched out his hand for Peter to shake and Peter took it, looking queasy.

"I-uh, what are you doing here? Sir?" Peter stammered out, at the same time Aunt May and Tony Stark asked "Who's this young lady?" in unison. Maggie's face turned red and she took a step back. "Just a friend. From um, school." She murmured, wanting to crawl in a hole.

_This is so embarrassing, look what you got yourself into, you dumb prick. You never should've come with him._

May looked like she wanted to inquire further but the matter at hand had already turned back to Peter and the fact that Iron Man was sitting in his living room. The two chatted back and forth, May giving Peter strange looks. Tony asked Peter if they could go in his room to discuss further, and Peter happily obliged, the pair walking to what must've been Peter's room, the door shutting behind them.

May finally turned to Maggie, offering up a bright smile, not unlike the one Peter had shown her this morning. "I'm so sorry! Please, do sit down." The older woman gestured towards the now-empty spot beside her, and Maggie tried to resist, saying she would just go back home, but Aunt May was persistent.

May opened her mouth, perhaps to make small talk, and a noise sounded from the kitchen. "Oh, that's the coffee. Do you want any, Maggie?" Maggie shook her head, and May nodded, heading to the kitchen. Maggie had noticed the peculiar way Aunt May had said her name; on the very tip of her tongue, as if Maggie's name were something dangerous and Aunt May was testing it out.

_He never brings girls home, not even friends,_ Maggie noted, wanting to laugh. She had been so scared for nothing.

_You're forgetting about Mary Jane,_ one of the voices in her head cackled, _and he'd bring her home if she even knew he existed._

She rolled her eyes, her phone going off in her pocket. She glanced around for a moment, wanting to make sure no one was coming back soon. Maggie heard the soft murmur of voices behind Peter's bedroom door, and Aunt May humming to herself in the kitchen. Breathing a sigh of relief at not having to look rude, being on her phone at someone else's house, she pulled out the phone from her back pocket.

**(xxx)-xxx-xxxx:**

_hey maggie! it's alex. rachel gave me your #, hope that's okay._

**maggie:**

_hey alex. yeah, that's totally fine._

**alex:**

_what's up?_

**maggie:**

_um, at peter parker's apartment. turns out i live right across the hall from him, lol. wbu?_

_**read at 3:05 pm** _

Maggie frowned. Why would Alex read it and not respond? Had she said something wrong?

_Knew those friends wouldn't last for long._

As Maggie put away her phone, the door to Peter's bedroom opened, Peter trying to suppress a huge grin, Tony Stark with the smallest of smirks on his handsome face. Peter's grin faltered when he saw Maggie still sitting on the couch, her face expectant and hopeful.

"Um." Peter looked from Tony to Maggie, then to May, and back to Tony. "Sorry Maggie, but you've got to go." He told her, almost dismissively, his eyes still trained on Tony. Maggie, appalled at his sudden cold behavior, stood up abruptly, grabbing her backpack from the table in the front of the apartment.

"See you in school, _Peter._ " She muttered, stalking out of the apartment and closing the door gently behind her.

He'd forgotten that she was even there. Everyone forgot about her. Alex wouldn't even respond to her text, and she'd opened up to Peter, yet he pushed her out the second a better opportunity came along.

_Everyone forgets about you eventually. That's why I told you not to make friends._

Maggie pushed the voice out, sick and tired of them, too. How had everything gone downhill so quickly?


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

**A MONTH HAD PASSED** since the disastrous time Maggie had spent in Peter Parker's apartment, before he'd basically dismissed her without another thought. Peter had grown silent throughout the duration of time passed, not only towards her, but to virtually everyone, besides one person whom Maggie recognized as his best friend, Harry Osborn. She dreaded having to sit next to Peter, a long and awkward silence surely anticipated each and every time.

In the meantime, Harry Osborn had taken it upon himself to strike up a friendship with Maggie; Maggie had no idea why, but she let it happen with little objection. The voices had quieted, still there, but hardly bothering her. A part of her missed Peter, but she had to remind herself she'd only known him for a month, and spoken to him twice, and there was no real reason to miss him.

Standing by her locker with Rachel, the subject of a particular party was brought up. "Rachel, I told you, _I wasn't invited_." Maggie reminded her best friend, growing increasingly impatient at the number of times the damn party had been brought up to her.

What happened next could only have been described as a coincidence. It couldn't have been anything else. "Hey, Maggie, I think I forgot to invite you to the party I'm throwing tonight. If you could make it, that would be really cool." Harry Osborn appeared out of nowhere, leaning against Maggie's locker, a small smirk on his face. Rachel, who stood behind Harry, began jumping up and down silently, mouthing 'YES!!' and shooting Maggie a thumbs-up.

_He forgot about you, all until last minute. That's what happened with Peter Parker._

Maggie forced a smile and nodded shyly, thanking him for the invite. The boy walked away, catching up with a few of his friends as Rachel let out a small high-pitched squeal. "Did that- really just happen? Or am I imagining things? He likes you, he likes you, oh my goodness, I-" Maggie slapped a hand to her friend's mouth, shutting her up.

"Be quiet. He didn't even invite me until last minute. What's all this shit about him _liking_ me? Rachel, keep your hopeless romantic side to yourself, please." She muttered in a joking tone, but was duly conflicted beneath her light attitude. Rachel rolled her eyes, and then Maggie felt something wet against her palm.

Yelping, she took a step back, taking her hand off Rachel's mouth and glaring at her friend. "Did you really just _lick_ me?" She exclaimed, both girls beginning to giggle, the laughter continuous throughout the rest of the day.

\---

For the most part, Maggie would say she was having a miserable time at this party. And when she said miserable, she meant she wanted to go home, climb into bed, pull the covers over her face, and not crawl out for the next couple of days. Rachel had tried to be a loyal friend and stick by Maggie's side, but her loyalty had been diverted by a cute new boy she'd never met before.

Sighing heavily, Maggie sat herself down on the edge of a couch, scanning the room for anyone else she might know. As she glanced at the throng of people crowding together in the living room, she caught sight of a familiar face- one she'd hoped desperately she wasn't going to see.

_Look, there's Peter Parker. And he's standing there with Mary Jane and Harry._

And indeed he was. He was standing with a group of people, sandwiched in between Mary Jane Watson and Harry Osborn, in the middle of talking. Peter looked a little uncomfortable, and a bit awkward, but he was standing there socializing nonetheless. What had spurred the sudden interest in speaking to people again?

She didn't want to admit it, but Maggie knew all too well what it was. _Mary Jane had her arm across Peter's shoulder, leaning in close to him, tittering out a laugh that was most definitely fake but of course Peter wouldn't see that, he's too infatuated with the redhead_.

Pushing herself off the couch, she trudged past the group and into the kitchen, determined to intercept Rachel and make her leave with Maggie, no matter how interested she was in the boy she had deserted Maggie for. _Everyone's deserting and forgetting you, aren't they? Give up. Go home without your friend. No one will notice_.

Her thoughts made her halt in the middle of the kitchen, not paying attention and not realizing she had been about to run into Alex. Alex caught her before they bumped heads, his hands gripping her shoulders. "Careful, there." He told her, chuckling, and Maggie turned red, embarrassed at how the situation had almost played out.

"Sorry." She told him quietly, and a sense of relief washed over her. Alex could convince his twin to take Maggie home, to leave the party; he was after all Maggie's second best friend, and would surely understand where Maggie was coming from, despite him seeming annoyed whenever the subject of Peter Parker was brought up.

"It's okay," He replied, his voice almost inaudible, barely rising above a whisper. He stared at her for a long minute, his blue eyes a mirror image of her own. They were both frozen in place, Alex not wanting to move away just yet. But Maggie cleared her throat, breaking the awkward silence and stepping away, Alex's hands falling from her shoulders.

"I- never mind. I'm leaving. Just gonna um, walk home by myself. See you guys in school." Maggie told him, and rushing away from the scene, back into the crowd of teenagers, and through the door. The moment she stepped outside, she immediately regretted her decision to go alone, but there was no turning back now.

It was dark, too dark, and Maggie was alone with her thoughts. Why did Harry Osborn not live close to a freaking subway? Maggie gritted her teeth and pulled out her phone, dialing her mother as she walked. "Hey Mom, just letting you know I'm coming home now-" The phone was knocked to the ground as two shadows appeared out of nowhere, one from behind her and the other in front.

The silhouettes were men, tall and muscular, much older than she. Maggie shrieked, diving to the ground for her phone, but one of the men pulled her up from her armpits and held her tight against him. "Please, let me go, please." Maggie pleaded, tears spilling over and rushing down her cheeks.

_I'm going to die, I'm going to be exploited, I'm going to be hurt. This is why I shouldn't have left the party alone. I hate myself. I made a stupid decision. I'm the stupidest person alive, oh, goddammit._

"You're a pretty little thing, aren't you?" The man holding her chuckled as the other man reached down to grab her phone, inspecting the screen for any cracks. "What else have you got with you, girl?" The man with her phone asked, a cold, dirty smirk sliding across his face. Maggie struggled in the man's arms, kicking and jabbing her elbows, but the men were much stronger than her, and she had no such luck.

She resorted to her last option. " _HELP!_ " She yelled, screaming as loudly as she could in any direction. It being eleven o'clock at night in Queens, Maggie doubted there would be many people around willing to help, but she screamed again, and again, until the man tightened his grip on her and smacked his sweaty palm over her mouth.

She was reminded of this morning, when she put her hand over Rachel's mouth and Rachel licked her to make her drop her hand, but Maggie wasn't so sure this would work with these men, these muggers. The other man pocketed her phone and got closer, his hand outstretched towards her face. He stroked the side of her face slowly, and Maggie tried to scream, but all further attempts were smothered by the second man's hand.

As the bigger man, the one who had stolen her phone, reached his hand somewhere else, he was suddenly knocked to the side, falling to the ground with a loud grunt. Maggie whipped her head to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of what had knocked over the large man, but her view was obstructed by the man who still had a grip on her.

Everything happened in a blur. One minute the man was holding on tight to her, grotesquely close to her body, and the next he wasn't, just laying down on the ground next to his partner, knocked out cold. Maggie let out a long, shuddering breath, a shiver running down her spine at what had happened and how it had escalated so quickly. She glanced around for her savior and was surprised to find another silhouette, this one small, hiding in the shadows. "Thank you." Maggie told the figure, taking a step towards them, her heart beating fast.

"Who are you?" She asked, and the person stepped into the light, revealing themselves.

Maggie sucked in a breath of air, recognizing them right away.

_Spider-Man._

"Oh my god, it's you, I- thank you, so much, again. I just, thank you." Maggie felt star-struck at having been saved by the masked vigilante, the one who'd only recently become known in the news but was growing increasingly popular with every good deed he did.

"It's no big deal. Just doing my civic duty," The hero quipped, rubbing his neck, clearly humbled, and when Maggie heard his voice, another chill ran down her spine. It wasn't just because she realized the voice was that of someone her age, a teenager. And of course she was surprised the widespread, well-known superhero was a kid, just like her.

No, what sent shivers down her spine was the realization that she knew this voice. Even if she'd only heard it twice before.

" _Peter_?" 


End file.
